When People with Differences Hate on People with Differences


Hello!

I hope you are enjoying life right now. I am glad it is sunny and around 72 degrees outside in Washington, D.C. today. Of course, I am stuck at my desk. But at least I can look out of the window. Haha. Anyway, I had trouble falling asleep the past 3 nights. When my mind won’t shut off, I medicate myself. I know– so not healthy to do, but I’ll either take Tylenol PM or Mucinex 12 hour syrup. Those 2 medications work wonders. They worked so well though that I ran out of them, dammit! So there I go at around 10:00pm the other night scrambling to find something that would put my mind at ease and allow me to sleep in peace. The only thing I found crowded in with all of my health and beauty products was NyQuil PM. So I took a shot of NyQuil. Well that worked until 4:00am the last two nights. Then from 4:00am on, I was wide awake. Which is fine. I got to record my video for Youtube without my dog, Belle, or my fiance, Jason, walking around in the background. Last night however, after I tucked myself in to bed with a shot of NyQuil, I lied there thinking about the most random things. A memory from when I was 10 years old popped into my head. I actually think about this memory more often than I ever thought I would and I feel compelled to share it with you. So the story goes like this…

It’s early afternoon, I am getting back into the swing of things at school after my fire accident. I have 3rd degree thick red burn scars all over my chin and part of my cheek and 1st and 2nd degree burns on the rest of my face. I don’t exactly look like your average happy 10 year old kid. I got that. I understood that I was different looking. I expected adults to treat me better, but in most cases, they were the absolute meanest people to me. Well, little did I know that I not only had adult haters, but I also had adult haters with disabilities! Every other month, my school would gather in the gym to watch a performance of some sort. This time around, a team of handicap basketball players came to play basketball and show off all kinds of neat tricks. They were trying to teach kids that you can do whatever you set your mind to and that in the end, regardless of how we look, we are all in fact humans and ultimately the same underneath. What a sweet lesson to teach, right?

Thirty minutes into the game, the Manager of the team went around to pick students to volunteer and play basketball with the team in wheelchairs. I saw all of my fellow classmates raise their hands so high for the chance to play, so I then thought I would raise my hand a little. Of course, the Manager found my slightly risen burned hand in the air and chose me to get out there into a wheel chair and play with the team. I shyly went out onto the court, and when I got into my wheel chair I noticed some of the guys on the team looking at me with disgust on their faces. I ignored it and began rolling around in the chair. The game began and everyone was rolling around and the ball got tossed to me. I got excited, placed the ball in my lap and began rolling around in the wheel chair looking for a person to pass the ball to—the person I wanted to pass to immediately rolled away from me. I then turned to my left and tried to pass it to someone else and this guy still had a weird look on his face from even the sight of me, so finally I decided to just make a shot—- and of course, as my life goes– I threw an air ball. I was immediately then escorted out of my chair and told to go back to my seat with the other students where I proceeded to get made fun of by a few male classmates.

This memory makes me laugh now, but also has me confused. Why in the world were handicap people disgusted by me? Shouldn’t we all be on the same team? Team Different! But the truth is, we are all human and there are certain things that gross us out and sometimes, we only think about how grossed out we are, and sometimes we show it on our faces, and even sometimes we have verbal diarrhea and say something completely messed up or inappropriate out loud. I try to be as non judgmental of people’s physical traits because I am in fact a burn victim. I’m sure when I say something, people are probably thinking, “umm you are one to talk, Crissy.” So I prefer to keep my opinions to myself and remind myself that we are all human, we all judge and we all react in different ways. It’s okay. But please when you catch yourself showing your facial expressions of disgust or saying things, think about the people around you that you affect. While I am so used to people staring at me, saying things, etc, I can’t help but let it affect me for a minute before I move on to the next thought. But that memory will be implanted in my head. No one is perfect. No point in being mean. All it ends up doing is making yourself look bad or insecure. So moral of the story– there is no Team Different. We are all human underneath. I guess the basketball players were teaching the right lessons after all.

 

Love my Readers! Have a great day!!

Marriage is Tough! But Does it have to be this Hard?

Guess who is back?? I have so many things to share…I got married! I am officially in a marriage and I have so much to talk about concerning that topic. Things are going to get superdity duper real. But first, I did promise a Blog post on spirituality, then a video post on my favorite makeup and lastly a video post of a conversation between Jason, my husband, and my relationship and what it is like dating (marrying) a girl with a facial scar.

So in the next 2 days, I will update you on the Spirituality post. Then a few days after that, I’ll do the Makeup Post, and then I’ll do the Conversation with Jason Post before I fill you in on everything else that has happened in my life in the last year.

I promise to be more consistent. I want to begin speaking opportunities and eventually starting my own Foundation for Burn Survivors and Victims of Fire. Now that wedding planning is done, I am back to focusing on my side projects.

Talk soon and thank you so much for stopping by and check out the chic table setting I did for my Birthday Dinner that happened in the first week of November. I am obsessed with gold, cream and pops of color right now.

My husband threw me a #birthdayparty dinner at our home. He prepared handmade pasta carbonara and we opened beautiful bottles of wine from our recent trip to #napavalley --of course I wanted to do the #tabledecor. #goldandcream #goldandpink #popofcolor #peonies #glam. Cheers to my fellow #scorpios

My husband threw me a #birthdayparty dinner at our home. He prepared handmade pasta carbonara and we opened beautiful bottles of wine from our recent trip to #napavalley –of course I wanted to do the #tabledecor. #goldandcream #goldandpink #popofcolor #peonies #glam. Cheers to my fellow #scorpios

ABOUT A CAT NAMED PANCHO

img_7434It has taken me a long time to write this post about my best friend, Jim, who passed away in August 2013. It was even harder to write about the cat he left behind–the only animal he really loved, named Pancho. And it has proven to be extremely difficult to write this post about the death of Pancho. I think that it just brings a lot of unpleasant memories surrounding the death of Jim. You will understand what I mean soon enough. Now that I live in a neighborhood where we have two stray cats that always seem to find themselves on my porch, I feel like I can tell the story about Pancho. (I feed the cats and pet them and give them love. Shhh. Don’t tell my extremely allergic husband)

Around 12 years ago, Jim was in a relationship with a man (whom I still call my friend today), named Miguel. Miguel was a lover of animals and of love in general. So when Miguel moved into Jim’s beautiful row home in Washington, DC, Miguel took a liking to stray cat who hat been terribly hit by a car. While Jim didn’t care for animals much let alone stray cats, he saw how happy this cat made Miguel and he witnessed a sweet nurturing side of Miguel that he adored. So Jim and Miguel began feeding Pancho (Miguel came up with the name for the female cat by giving her the name Pancha. But Jim was able to say Pancho easier. So Pancho stuck. Ha).

Over the years, Jim and Miguel’s romantic relationship crumbled but they remained best friends. Jim kept Pancho in the break up and really ended up loving Pancho so much. The August 2013 day when my sister and I went to go break into Jim’s house because we were worried about him, we saw Pancho peeking through the window at us. Pancho looked a bit distressed and kept coming to every window Linda and I tried breaking through. It made it hard for Linda and I to break through the window. We didn’t want Pancho to get hurt.

We ended up calling the police who then called Fire Fighters. Fire Fighters broke into Jim’s house— and what they discovered was a gruesome end to a life cut too short. Pancho was given to Miguel who lived 45 minutes away in a rural suburb of Maryland. Pancho tried adjusting to her new life. Miguel enjoyed having her because Pancho was a constant, loving reminder of Jim. But sadly, one day while Miguel was at work in October 2015, Miguel received a phone call from a friend who was at his house who said that 2 neighbors dogs were let loose and ate Pancho alive right in front of her. She tried to stop the dogs but it was too late. Pancho’s remains were scattered all over the yard. Miguel rushed off the phone, and by the time he came home, he was alone again. He didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to Pancho the way he didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to Jim. Pancho left this world in such a horrific way the way Jim left this world. Miguel called me to tell me what happened and I was crushed. This was not fair. Pancho had a tough life but found love through Jim and Miguel. Why did these dogs have to destroy her spirit? It makes me sad to this day when I think about Pancho (even though Pancho was a bitchy little thing, haha). The only thing that gives me solace is knowing that she is with her dad and they are both at peace.

So there you have it. This isn’t about my life as a fire survivor. This is a story about survivors living and deceased. We all have a story to tell. We all deal with pain in some form or another. But if we have love, that pain even for a little bit dissipates, and we keep moving forward. Jim and Pancho were survivors in so many ways, but have found their peace even if they had to leave this earth with a little pain.

xoxo. My next blog post is a list of my favorite things that includes make up I absolutely love. Talk to you next week!

 

 

Francis & Crissy! Our 1st Joint Video Together…

Hi!!

Francis and I connected in the beginning of November to talk about PR strategies so we can help get his book, The Will To Live, out in the hands of Readers who love to read autobiographical stories. We decided to do a video to help get the word out. Fortunately for Francis, he looks great and had a lovely night of sleep the night prior. Unfortunately for me, I was nursing a bit of a hangover and had to spackle my face with spraypaint foundation in order to look semi awake (sorry for the shiny face and unbrushed hair in advance).

Hope you guys like the video that Francis will be sending out to Journalists, TV Hosts, Hospitals, Newspapers and Magazines– people we admire in the world who already make a difference by sharing news and stories that can help and inform others.

Until we talk again,

 

xoxo

Happy Halloween or is it?

It’s Friday and I am so excited to start the weekend off with dressing up for Halloween. Check out my lovely Double Eyes Alien Photo (1st two pictures below left). I am practicing my look for tomorrow when I head to New Jersey for the weekend. My brother and his family live in a neighborhood where it seems as though every cool New Yorker who wanted land and a family, moved and created a beautiful, artsy, and fun family town 30 minutes outside of NYC. Tomorrow’s festivities will include decorating the house scary, going to the town Halloween Festival, trick or treating with the nephews, and then all gathering back at the house for a neighborhood adult drinking party at around 8pm. Sounds fun, right? I can’t wait to see my nephews dressed up. I always got dressed up for Halloween. My mom was very creative with me even after my accident. One time, she knew that I wanted to dress up, but it was hard for me because my scars were so thick on my chin, so she said, “How about I turn you into an old man and put a beard on you.” Can you believe it? I would rather be an old man at 13 years old for Halloween then to be myself. But truthfully, I felt more like myself when my scars weren’t showing to the world. I felt like people could talk to me without mentioning my looks or stumbling on their words because they were too focused on what I looked like.

Anyway, as I grew older, my creative costumes because more “slutty” costumes and Halloween became less about fun and more about fitting in and drinking. Luckily that stage came and went and for the past several years, I tried to be more creative with face painting and scaring people. Here are some pictures from 2013 and 2014. I am missing the one where I dressed like a crazy lady who escaped an insane asylum, but just come by my bed any early morning. You will catch a glimpse of what that costume looked like. Ha! I love Youtube because all I have to do is search, “Halloween creepy face makeup” and tons of Users post amazing videos teaching me how to do these things. All it takes is some white face paint, black marker face paint, fake red blood and voila! You can be a number of different creative things.

So you know how I never wear my hair up in public unless I am wearing a scarf or I am around people who I am very closed to? Well, this is the first year where I am wearing my hair up. (Thanks Dr. Dubrow and Dr. Nassif). I am heading to a popular and trendy restaurant in DC shortly for dinner and drinks with one of my best friends. I am going to try keeping my hair up the whole time. Yes I know that my white face paint will help hide the scarring, but as my sister told me last year, “it’s interesting how you are even more confident with your face paint on when the face paint isn’t covering anything.” She continued to say that she loved my confidence with or without face paint. And she is right. I love Halloween because I use it as an excuse where I can transform for a day or two without feeling the public eyes burning a whole through my chin. At least that’s what I continue to tell myself. Now only if I could have this confidence every day of the year. Hold on tight, I am working on it.

Have a very fun and safe Halloween! My next few blog posts are going to be super interesting. Can’t wait to share. xo

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An Unlikely Friendship

Everyone, meet Francis Wallace (pictured below). Francis read my article in The Washington Post back in April 2014 and found me through Google. It turns out he didn’t have to do much stalking as my name and pictures are very searchable. Haha. Yey, what every person wants– personal stories and hideous photos blasted all over the internet for years to come! ; )

Anyway, back to my story. Let’s flashback to not even 2 weeks ago when I received an email on my Linkedin page from Francis. His message wash short. “Hi Cristina. I read your story in The Washington Post. I am also a burn survivor. Can you give me a call, please?” You know me, whenever anyone writes me after knowing about my fire accident, I immediately write back. This time, I gave Francis a call. Upon completing the phone call, I learned a few things about Francis. Francis sounded like a gentle man who happens to live right outside of Washington, DC– very close to me. He read my article in the Post a few months back, lost the article and went on a frantic search to find me. He just felt like he needed to meet me. For anyone to want to meet me makes me feel special. Why me you ask, right? Well Francis has written a book called, A Will to Live and was in the final editing stages before production. He wanted to meet me because my story in the Post resonated with him and he felt that I had a story to tell and he wanted to hear it. Being the trusting person I am, I made an appointment to meet with Francis at a coffee shop in Washington, DC. Of course once I told my sister I was going to meet with a man alone whom I had never met before in D.C. during the the early morning hours, she freaked out. I however didn’t. Remember when I told you that Francis sounded like a gentle man over the phone? He also made sure to tell me that he was married and has daughters. He then added me on Facebook so I knew he was a real human being with a life of his own and I gathered that he was a religious family man. He wasn’t a cookoo for coco puffs who wanted to use my hair as tooth floss and my skin as a door mat. Well at least that’s the vibe I got. So last week I met up with Francis.  We both happened to arrive at the same time, park, and walk while talking to each other on the phone. As soon as I turned a corner to head to the entrance of the coffee shop, there he was– Francis Wallace. As soon as we saw each other, we gave one another a big hug.

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Francis Wallace is a 75 year old black man who was burned on over 85% of his body at the age of 25 in a fire that stemmed from an outdoor BBQ Grill. Then there is me–a 30 year old, white female who was burned at the age of 10 on less than 5% of my body in an accident that stemmed from a garage fire. Francis and I connected over a sweet tea and cappuccino. We spoke for almost 2 hours. He told me that his book has been years in the making, but it wasn’t until 2 years ago when he really got serious about finishing his book. The stories that Francis told me about his life not just about the fire, are INCREDIBLE. Real, raw and they made me yearn to want to know more about his life. I shared some of my stories to Francis and he said to me, “Cristina, you have a story to tell. There is a reason why we both survived. Let’s share our stories together.” Francis is right. I do have stories to tell and have written around 20 pages of a book that I began a few years back. I just keep putting it off. I was hoping that this blog would suffice, but Francis pushed me and said that I needed to finish my book.

Francis doesn’t know me well but he knew that we were meant to cross paths and work together. After meeting Francis though, it seemed as though we had known each other for years. How can two completely different people feel a connection? How could one person who is very religious and the other person who considers herself more spiritual than religious have a deeper connection? Francis and I share a significant experience in our lives that dictated the rest of our lives. Francis and I may seem like we are from two worlds apart, but we aren’t. We are both living, breathing humans that believe in a greater power that somehow allowed us to keep on going and live the best life we could live despite falling down several times throughout our lives.

Francis is my new friend and will be my friend for life. I cannot wait until Francis’ book comes out and I get to go hear him speak and do book signings. I wish a ton of success for him and I know he wants the same for me. Francis and I decided last week that we are going to both begin speaking at events while he promotes his book and I finish my book. Francis and I have an unlikely friendship, but underneath it all, we are the same. I cannot wait to share more stories. I’ll get Francis to do a video blog with me on my Youtube Channel and we will continue working together and pushing together to be the best people we can be, because after all, we made it out of those fire accidents alive. We are so damn lucky to be alive.

 

 

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I Can Smile Like a Regular Person Again!!! Today is a Great DAY!

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Good Morning!

I finally have my video ready to load onto Youtube. But first, here are a few shots I took before and after the video. None of these photos are re-touched in any way, shape or form (as you can tell). Can you believe how much better my chin looks?? I can actually smile facing to the front now. I haven’t smiled like a regular person in years. Really–YEARS. I still have a little bit more work to have done on the scarring and shape of the chin, but for the most part, I am VERY pleased that Dr. Dubrow and Dr. Nassif have been able to change my life by actually doing what they said they were going to do to my chin. In my 10 operations prior to the one in late 2014, I had Doctors (some quite arrogantly) tell me that my chin was going to look amazing and as if I never got into a fire accident. Sadly, they were all wrong and kept botching my surgeries. I felt defeated, and ended up believing that this was the way I was supposed to live my life….with a scar. So I did what any person would do– I made the best out of my situation. And I continue to live my life with pure happiness. You have to come to that conclusion before you can seek any sort of happiness. You have to tell yourself that you only have one life to live and you have to make the best with what you have, and if you want something more, then you have to work for it. A lot of people want easy solutions. It can all be easy if you remove the negative thinking and only seek positive energy in your life. I do understand though that some people are born depressed or angry. Anyway, more on this later. For now– here are some shots taken this morning. I lightened my hair. Do you like it? Well, don’t answer that. I always get 50% of people telling me they love it, and then the other 50% like me so much better with the darker hair color. You can never please anyone. Oh well!

Have a great day! Anyone going to watch the new season of E!s’ Botched? How about watch Dr. Dubrow and Heather Dubrow’s new talk show after Botched??? I will be tuning in as I hope you do too : ) Check out my video on youtube later if you want to have a little laugh!

P.s- Thank you to the Merideth Veira Show for mentioning my name when Dr. Dubrow and Dr. Nassif were on there talking about Botched! Great show. I got a few emails after that episode aired.

 

Hello from Beautiful South Beach!

Hey!!

I am currently in South Beach, Florida visiting our Southern Headquarters that just so happens to be on the 34th floor of a condo overlooking the bay on one side and the ocean on another side. It’s beautiful out here. I truly never thought I would like Miami. I just thought it seemed very pretentious. But truthfully, now that I am visiting here again after 10 years, I am older and able to look past the crazy night life scene and notice that Southern Florida is absolutely beautiful and the people have thus far been lovely. I have had a couple of people tell me that they saw me on TV and they loved the episode. That makes me feel really special that people still care about my well being. I never thought anyone would. I send all of the love right back!! I walk around with a big smile on my face because well one–I no longer smile and have a chin the size of Gaston’s from Beauty and the Beast, and two–I continue to know that life is so beautiful.

Anyway, I want to answer a question that I received in my email not to long ago from a Reader from Louisiana. She told me that she has a large mole on her face and often wears cover up but sometimes the cover up mixed with the darker color mole, makes her skin look a bit purple/brown in color. She wants to know what I use on my reddish scars to conceal the color. Well my stunning Reader, I dab a green liquid concealer over the red parts of my scar, light concealer around my eyes, nose and surrounding skin around my nose, and blend regular skin color foundation on the rest of my face and over the green and light concealers. While I don’t know how to disguise the brown color of a mole, I have a good idea of the foundations that will cover it REALLY well as they cover mine great. The only thing I cannot hide is the raised part of my scars. I would need to put on a mask of a new face to do that. Ha! Eew…moving on and in detail in later posts!

My next few blog posts will be uploaded onto youtube so I can show exactly what I use and how I look with certain foundations. That way you can get an honest review on the makeup and see if something would either be too thick or light of a foundation for what you are trying to conceal. I have absolutely no idea how to make a professional video where I am talking over my video, so bare with me. I will do mine in parts until I learn how to be a bit more tech savvy with my site.

Until then…a few recent photos from my friend’s wedding I was a bridesmaid in, Taylor Swift concert where her face was blocked on the big screen the entire time, late night swimming at my parent’s pool in Miami and then one of the terrace views from my parent’s home in Miami…life is too short so I make sure to enjoy it as often as possible!!

xoxo

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I’m Just Not One to Talk About Myself…

I know it sounds ridiculous because I have been featured in National Publications and was on a TV show. BUT it’s true. While I wanted to tell my story to meet people who share similar stories of hardship, the idea of keeping up a blog, twitter, Instagram, etc just doesn’t appeal to me. To me, it sounds a bit arrogant because I am not offering anything but advice. I’m not teaching any skill. My advice giving is not a skill and not the end all be all of what it takes to make you a happier person. I simply  reveal my experiences with how I came out of darker times throughout my life. I hope it helps people, but I do NOT think I am special in any way and I am only doing this blog because I have been told that my stories are entertaining and help some. The moment people stop coming up to me and writing me will be the day that I stop writing, because I don’t want to be revealing my thoughts if they don’t help anyone. Ha.
So anyway, I said that I was going to go through my Memorial Day weekend in my last post. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. It was an absolute blast. We stayed at my mom’s boyfriend’s house in Bethany Beach, Delaware, then went out to Fagers Island in Ocean City, Jam Session at Bottle and Cork in Dewey Beach and the Starboard in Dewey where Jason (my boyfriend) met legendary former University of Maryland Basketball Coach, Gary Williams,  Indiana Hoosier’s Basketball Coach (can’t remember name)  and CEO of Under Armour, Kevin Plank. He had drinks with them and that pretty much made his life. He was like a giddy little school boy. I don’t blame him though. I would be freaking out if I met Oprah. I love that woman. I feel like she would be such a blast one minute, and then could get really deep the next minute while still being ridiculously entertaining. Anyway, I digress…
So since we last spoke, I not only went to the beach, I also went camping on the beaches of Assateague Island with my family. It was so much fun to be one with nature. Poor Jason doesn’t think so though as he forgot to put bug spray on after he got out of the ocean water, that he got bitten over 100 times!! Haha. He was so sore and I cannot help but laugh a little because anyone who  has gone camping, has gotten bitten a ton of times at one point or another. Jason had only been camping a 1/2 of a time before in his life. So he is still new to the whole outdoorsy thing.
One big thing happened on Saturday May 30th—I got engaged!! Jason completely surprised me with a beautiful 2 carat round solitaire with a white gold pave band. I am only writing out exact details because I always wonder when I see the beautiful rings on my friends and family. I have never been more happily surprised in my life. I thought Jason and I were entertaining friends from New Jersey that weekend. We were excited to show them around DC and took them to the Monuments. Never in a million years did I know that Jason had been planning a surprise this grand with 40 of my family and friends behind my back! I hung out with all of those people at some point or another since the time they found out that he wanted to propose to me in April and still I have no idea how they were all dead silent about my engagement. You would think someone would slip up and no one did. I am eternally grateful. The last time I was surprised was when Jim died. Before that, I have never been surprised and I had always wanted a great surprise. Jason did it and I don’t know how I got so lucky to meet this incredible man who genuinely loves me and my flaws.
Above is the video my cousin edited to make even more special of the day when she posted Bruno Mars’s music to a few videos edited together. Forever, my ugly cry face will be on the internet, but you guys have already seen it if you remember me on Botched. ; )Until we talk again! Have an incredible remainder of the week. I’ll post my first video message on my youtube channel in my next post. Ahhhhh! I can already hear the insults. Ha.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY & MORE UPDATES!!

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Hey Sugars!

Thank you for the continued support. I couldn’t be more grateful of what came out of sharing my story to millions of viewers. I hope to continue helping more people who feel like they are the only people going through certain things and I will be sure to update you shortly.

I see that my bestie Cristian/Bambi is getting lots of positive feedback on the pictures of part of my apartment he helped decorate. He loves hearing from the Readers who have contacted him about setting up an appointment to check out their space they want his help with. He is whoring himself out for $25 per hour to my awesome Readers. He usually charges $125 per hour. Trust me–even if you spend 2 hours with him in your home, he will work with you on what you already have and arrange things in a way that will make your home look SO MUCH BETTER. So anyway, thanks guys!

P.S-I just got engaged!!! Follow me on INSTAGRAM TO SEE ME GO THROUGH THE WHOLE WEDDING PROCESS & UPDATE IT MORE WITH PICTURES! I DECIDED THAT MY FIRST YOUTUBE VIDEO WILL BE OF MY SURPRISE ENGAGEMENT. CRAZY HOW IT HAPPENED!! I WILL UPDATE MORE SHORTLY!!

Have a beautiful WEDNESDAY! Talk soon!!!!!

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I Wish I Never Did This!!

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I did something really, incredibly dumb. And I regret it.

I decided that almost a month after my episode aired, I would check Twitter to see what people said about the show. Big mistake. While most people were so supportive and nice about the show, 3 people–and yes, I am specifically calling out 3 people–made comments that kind of hurt my feelings…for a few minutes. At the end of the day though, those people don’t know me. If they actually met me, they would like me and find the beauty in me. At least this is what I am telling myself to feel better. Hahaha.

One person asked if I was born a man. You would think I would be terribly offended by this. But I wasn’t only because nowadays, men who dress as women are looking so natural and GORGEOUS. So you think I was a man because I had a bad accident that turned my chin a bit more square looking? That’s nice of you to say. You must be a miserable person and to make yourself feel better, you put an insult out there on social media in hopes of getting some ‘likes’ or ‘retweets’. I don’t let these things affect my spirit. I know a few transgendered people, cross dressers and drag queens. They are hot and gorgeous and if you want to put me in any of those categories, do it! I could only wish I was as fabulous as many of the people I know.

Another person said that I looked like I had a dick print on the side of my chin. Hahaha. I have absolutely no idea what that even means. So you are watching a show about my fire accident and the only thing you could think about was seeing some sort of male body part on the side of my chin?? I’m so confused. People are weird.

Those 2 comments weren’t that terribly offensive to me. The one that bothered me for a few minutes was this guy who tweeted that the Doctors said that they did all they could do with the Botched patients and we are still ugly. When I saw the time stamp, my reveal wasn’t even aired yet!? He got retweeted a few times from that comment. While I don’t know if he placed me in that group of Botched patients, the word, ‘ugly,’ is still so harsh. Geezzz– keep it to yourself. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but can you at least say, ‘not that pretty,’ or “not very attractive’? Ha. My friend later told me that the tweet was directed to the transgendered person who was on the show with me. Honestly, it doesn’t matter though. Because that person was nice on the show and didn’t deserve that mean comment. I was also on Botched–granted I never would have elected to have plastic surgery if I didn’t need to, but still. I was on that episode. You say something mean about them, you are also kind of hurting my feelings.

When you put yourself out there to the world. Expect to be judged. It’s normal. We all do it. But know that when you put that nasty energy out there in the world, that nasty energy will come right back to you. I would NEVER post something on social media that hurts another person. Why? What is the point? So a few other people can make you feel cool for a minute? I would never talk nasty about someone else (who I do not know well personally) because it only shows insecurity.

Anyway, I will never look at social media again when it comes to me. But I will continue putting myself out there and telling more personal stories because the more we learn about eachother, the less hate we have towards one another in this world. At the end of the day, we are all living, breathing, animals.

Have a great weekend!! Below are a few pictures of Jason’s and my new apartment we moved into a month ago. We have one room left to decorate, but here are a few  of our family room to show for now. My best friend Cristian helped me design the place. He’s a high end Designer but is branching off a bit on his own, so if you want to have him help you accessorize your place or start designing from scratch, he is giving my reader’s a $75 dollar discount per hour to make it $25 per hour to have him at your home. How cool is that? If you want him to travel, traveling expenses are incurred, but if you are in the Washington, DC metro area, then contact me for his email address or you can contact him directly through Facebook.

(photos courtesy of Cristian Mendoza)

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xoxo

Before & After

Hey!!

I hope you have been enjoying your week thus far. I cannot write long because I have a ton of work to do, but hopefully you can come back to the site soon as I am going to post a conversation full of questions that I am going to ask my boyfriend about what it’s like dating a girl with a scar. Surely, when he imagined how his future love of his life would look, I didn’t come into mind first or probably at all. It’s interesting how we picture our lives a certain way because that’s the only way we think we would be completely happy. If you let go of those mentalities, you will realize that your true happiness will unfold before your eyes. Trust me. I have a story for you…

Until then, here are a few pictures of me from when I was around 7 years old before my accident, then at 11 years old after my accident, then at 17 years old after–at that point, I had 4 reconstructive surgeries on my chin and left cheek. I will try to enlarge the picture so you can see it in greater detail. My mom put makeup on my chin for the school picture in the middle so it wouldn’t look as red and thick. I love that woman.

 

xoxo

IMG_0986 6TH GRADE BEFORE BOTCH 6 (2)

The Ugliest Girl on the Bus Goes Round and Round, All Day Longggg!

Hey!

Now that Press & hype from my episode of Botched is dying down, I figure that only the people who really want to know what it’s like to live a day in my shoes and not hear about the PG version per se, will be the ones reading from here on out. I will begin detailing moments from my personal life in hopes of having people who relate to me, talk about it and let me know that I am not alone. Then we can begin spreading the word of the Gospel- just kidding– just spreading words of love for everyone and teaching people that being a good person and shining from the inside, out makes so much more of an impact then being mean or negative.

I want to share with you a story about a REALLY mean person from my past. Think back to the time when you were in middle school. Now add, a few zits, slightly spread apart teeth, changing hormones, average body size, and a thick red scar on your chin. While I was SO lucky to have a close knit group of friends who happened to be popular in middle school, it was so hard to try to be normal when I would walk in the hallways, and random people would point at me and say, “Eew! That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen!” Or, they would jump back against the wall when I walked by for fear that if they got near me, they would ‘catch’ what I had. Those moments kept reminding me that I was no longer that innocent and naive 10 year old girl without a scar. I was now a ‘monster’, ‘freak,’ and ‘ugly’.

One day in particular stands out. I was on the bus ride home. The bus was packed as usual. Out of no where, one of the loud kids on the bus yells, “who do you guys think is the ugliest person on the bus?” And without a flinch, he screeched, “HER” as he pointed to me. Several kids on the bus mouths dropped when they saw where the finger was pointed. Even they knew that what he said was awful. Especially since I was nice to everyone. When he pointed to me, all I did was get up from my seat, face still red, and walked to the front of the bus to take a seat. I was mortified and wanted to burst into tears but I couldn’t for fear of being even more the ‘center of attention.’ I sat in silence the rest of the bus ride and when I got home, I walked to my bedroom and just cried.

Cut to a few years later and I was 16 years old. I see this asshole at a party! Of course, I strategically hid my scar when I saw him– scared that he would point me out again in front of everyone. I tried at all costs to avoid him at the party actually, but as the night wore on, I couldn’t avoid him any longer. I felt his eyes on me throughout the party. He came up to me as I was standing by the CD player, tapped me on my shoulder, smiled, and asked if I knew of a good song to play next. I realize then, that he didn’t recognize me. Those eyes staring at me were that of a boy who seemed interested in me. He continued to be flirtatious with me as I mumbled a few words out about music. Within a minute or two though, I just walked away into another room and stood in the dark. I had a wide range of emotions. I really hope he doesn’t recognized that it’s me. Am I the one who is laughing last? Nope–because there I was, at a party with a basement full of scar-less teenagers, alone in the dark– and when I was ready to show my face outside again, he was gone.

In the end, nobody won.

 

3000+ Visitors!! Happy Monday!!

So this is how I'm feeling right now in my office!! When you go from less than 100 people looking at your blog, to over 3000 in a week, your mind is blown. I thought 100 people was a lot of Visitors and was super excited to keep writing for those 100 people and robots. And then I did Press for Botched and WOW, 3000+ Visitors later and here I am gettin' my groove on. Ha. Thank you to the various media outlets who support this blog and all that I want to do to make life a little easier for those of us who are a little different looking than most other people. When I hit the 5000 page load mark, I will create my own Gif and put it up there. That should be motivation to help spread the blog, right? ; )

Anyway, let me share a story with you about this past weekend trip. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my brother is happily married with 3 boys all under the age of 7. They live in this beautiful town 30 minutes outside of New York City called, Maplewood, NJ. The boys are so well behaved and often, parents try to model their parenting skills off of how they see my brother, Carlos and his wife, Annie, parent.

Well, I knew since the boys were born, I would have to one day have that dreaded talk with them about what happened to my face. However, it’s been 7 years since the oldest one was born and he never made any comments about my chin. To him, I’m just his Tia Crissy. So I figured my brother and Annie had the talk with him at some point. Surely, no kid is this quiet when curiosity strikes their sweet minds, right?

Cut to a few days ago when on this past trip, the 7 year old treated me like I was a celebrity. Haha. He pulled out The Washington Post and mentioned how cool it was that his ‘Tia Crissy” was in the paper. At one point at dinner on Friday, he pulled up this hot plate to his chin to smell the food and he accidentally burned himself. He touched his chin and with the most excited look on his face, says, “wowwww, now I know how you felt when you burned your chin. I may also end up with a scar!” Throughout the weekend, he would continue to proudly show off my article in The Washington Post. It’s interesting how I have spent 20 years of my life shy and insecure about my chin and here I have a 7 year old who thinks it’s cool to be different. People have called me brave and courageous for years, but really, the real brave and courageous people are the ones who are able to embrace their physical differences and not be so concerned that how you look might offend other people. The brave ones are the people who are able to look past the physical and see the beauty within someone. I admire my nephew who is so special and doesn’t care that I have a scar– because at the end of the day, he’s just proud that his Tia is in the paper and made it for being different. I love you my little Carlos Eli and cannot wait to see how you continue to grow and inspire the young and…old…er.

I’ll write again tomorrow. xo and thank you all for continuing to read my posts. You’ve made my year. : )

Desperate Much?

Hi!!!

Guess what?! My blog is Googleable and Yahooable. I randomly tried searching it today and it worked!! I never thought I would see the day. It’s awesome!! Also, I went on Fox5’s Good Day DC and had a great time talking with the Newscaster, Holly Morris about Botched and this blog. It was such a fun time. Holly is very personable and kept the conversation light and easy. I have been a fan of Fox5 ever since I was a kid and Tony Perkins was on air pre-Good Morning America. I also own a condo right across from the studio, so I would often walk by while they were doing live news programs outside in front of the building. Good Day DC has a great team of people who are really funny. They made me laugh so hard this morning when I was in the green room watching on the tv of them go back and forth with banter.

Anyway, I hope your week has been great! Mine has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster with doing Press, having Botched air and opening myself up to the world. I unfortunately will not be blogging this weekend because I am heading to New Jersey to visit my brother, his wife and their 3 kids. Have you ever been around 3 kids under the age of 7, 2 parents, a 15 year old foreign exchange student that happens to be your cousin, 4 grandparents, 1 great grand parent, a brother in law, sister and boyfriend all under one roof? If you haven’t, then this is what you should expect to look like by the time Monday morning rolls around:

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Don’t get me wrong, we have so much fun throughout the entire weekend. But it is non stop on the go beginning at 6am when one of the little munchkins wakes up, tip toes downstairs quietly so when they jump on you in bed, they can realllllly startle the living sh*t out of you, and then your night ends with a belly full of food and booze at around 2am. I’m looking forward to family time. I just will not have any time to blog. But I promise you, come Monday, I will have lots to talk with you about.

So let me tell you why my blog is titled the way it is. After getting lots of attention from amazing people who are fans of the various news, radio and E! show I was on, I have received numerous messages from people. One particular Reader wrote me a very sweet email and related to me in a lot of ways. There I was, reading the email and so excited that I could talk with someone about what it’s like to have a facial scar. So after the email ends, I quick reply to her and talk about how we are alike and how I completely understand where she is coming from and even followed up the email with questions. Well, it’s been 2 days and I have yet to hear a response. I think I scared away a potential friend because I was too desperate and excited that I found someone with what I thought were some similarities. So now I’m beginning to think that maybe I should have waited a few days to respond to her email so I could play it cool. I should have written something short and simple. Or, maybe she was just busy. Or, maybe she got into an accident and died? Oh man, I hope the latter is not the case! But it’s funny how we put ourselves in these positions. Because seriously, at the end of the day, who cares? So what if one person doesn’t respond to an open ended email I wrote back? She wrote me first and she took the time to let me know that she’s a fan. No need for a potential friendship. Like my other emails I have received, hers is no different because she also has a facial scar. Just because on the outside people seem similar, it doesn’t mean that they are in the inside. You can’t expect everyone to think like you do. You have to let things slide off your back when things don’t go your way. And at the end of the day, always remember that the little things are just that, so little.

Have a great weekend!! I will write again on Monday!!